Executive Pagan

If Eddie Izzard can be an executive transvestite, I can be an executive pagan.

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A Christmas Entertainment

Posted by Erik on December 23, 2008

The Executive Pagan presents:  Charles Dickens’ immortal Classic “A Christmas Carol”, recapitulated and newly set to Musick, for the Edification and Correction of those Souls still mired in the Abyss of Greed in this most Charitable Season. To be sung to the Tune of that Familiar Standard, “We Are Climbing Jacob’s Ladder.”

The Argument
I’m the ghost of Jacob Marley,
I’m the ghost of Jacob Marley,
I’m the ghost of Jacob Marley,
Ebenezer Scrooge.

I am here to save your bacon…
You’re a covetous old sinner…
Change your ways or you’re in trouble…
There’s still time to seek redemption…
You’ll be haunted by three spirits…
Heed their words and mark their visions…
Change, or be like me forever!…

Spirit the First
I’m the Ghost of Christmas Past…
You were such a lonely child…
You had work and friends and laughter…
See that girl who truly loved you…
But you turned your back upon them…
Then your sister died and left you…
Something in you died then also…
You brought this upon your own head…

Spirit the Second
I’m the Ghost of Christmas Present…
Come in, man, and know me better…
(Yes, I look like a pagan deity…)
Poverty is all around you…
Witness your poor clerk, Bob Cratchit…
See, his little son’s a cripple…
He will die if nothing changes…
By the way, they all despise you…

Spirit the Third
See the Ghost of Christmas Future…
He reveals the Cratchits’ sorrow…
See a crutch without an owner…
Tiny Tim is now in Heaven…
It appears a rich man has died…
The world is better for his passing…
Look upon this grave and wonder…
Yes, the name reads “Ebenezer”…

The End of It
Wake up now, it’s Christmas morning…
There’s still time for your salvation…
Send a turkey to the Cratchits…
Pledge your help to all who need it…
Become a generous benefactor…
Reconcile with friends and family…
Give a raise to poor Bob Cratchit…

Tiny Tim will now survive
Tiny Tim will now survive
Tiny Tim will now survive
God bless us, every one!

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One Response to “A Christmas Entertainment”

  1. Great Song,
    thought you might like my machinima version of A Christmas Carol

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