God vs. Microsoft

NOTE: for “God” in the following, read “God as commonly understood by Christians”. Also note that I  am not comparing the relative merits of their respective products (Windows vs. all of creation), but their customer service models.

Is there a significant difference? Let’s take a look at how each responds to a reported bug (in the case of God, the “bug” is Original Sin; for M$, just pick your favorite).

INITIAL TROUBLESHOOTING STEPS

Step 1

Microsoft: “It’s probably user error.”
GOD: “And the LORD God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” So the LORD God banished him from the Garden of Eden…”

Step 2

Microsoft: “Let’s go ahead and reboot, that sometimes fixes it.”
GOD: “The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain. So the LORD said, ‘I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth—men and animals, and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air—for I am grieved that I have made them.'”

Many steps later…

Microsoft: “OK, we’re going to send you a patch.”
GOD: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”


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2 thoughts on “God vs. Microsoft

  1. R.D. Hammond

    Microsoft: “Sounds like malware. We’ll have to release a security patch.”

    God: “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!” … Now a great herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside, and they begged him, saying, “Send us to the pigs; let us enter them.” So he gave them permission. And the unclean spirits came out, and entered the pigs, and the herd, numbering about two thousand, rushed down the steep bank into the sea and were drowned in the sea.

  2. Feral Boy

    Microsoft: “Windows 7 will take care of that for sure.”

    Me: “Forget it, I’m going to Linux!”

    And he brought him to Jerusalem and set him on a pinnacle of the temple and said to him: If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself from hence. 10 For it is written that He hath given his angels charge over thee that they keep thee. 11 And that in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest perhaps thou dash thy foot against a stone. 12 And Jesus answering, said to him: It is said: Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. 13 And all the temptation being ended, the devil departed from him for a time.

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